So, I just went to Paramore's myspace to listen to Decode. After that it had a bunch of songs that I have on my Riot album and I realised how much I miss being able to listen to CDs easily. When i'm here I only listen to the stuff on my itunes and it gets so samey. Granted I didn't listen to it much when I had them all in Leicester house last year, but I love my CDs. Theres so much of them that I don't have on my ipod. The sameyness is really beginning to grate and I don't listen to the ipod properly anymore, its just background (unless its Muse or JM). I need my CDs and I want a stable home or flat rather than always moving and never having all of my stuff in one place. It makes life so complicated.
Secondly for the past two years i've been shopping and cooking food entirely for myself. This has caused the standard of my diet to go down. Its difficult to care too much when it just you. Its also easy to overestimate portions (which is what I think i'm doing). I don't see whats so hard about communal cooking. Everyone gets to cook less often and the ingredients come in the right sizes, rather than having to cook over and keep some and ect and ect.
Also, although its fine here, I have no close friends. I like people dearly enough but theres noone here I feel I like as much as my viking mates back in Leicester. I miss them loads, no one here makes crude jokes or laughs or anything. They've lovely but its not the same. I also find it quite tough even when talking in English with Lucie, its the way that you have to think about everything you so to make sure that they understand it and as a conseqence its never "easy" and chat never "flows". Weird that.
Lastly but not leasty I have to think about next year and where i'm living. I'd love to live with Liz and Potter. Lydia was talking about her plans yesterday and it made me realise that the worries that i'd had are achieveable to get over. I've sent Potter a message. If not i'll go into halls. I wouldn't hate that, and it would be more comfortable than a house maybe. I think i'm somewhat "once bitten twice shy" about my old house. It was dark and cold and damp and horrible! We were so stupid. A few of my housemates didn't help though. I'm sure if I was with Potter and Liz it would be a good warm sensible house, and i'm trying not to let past experiences get to me.
Right everyone. Thats all of my moans for today! Thanks so much for listening. It really helps even if it is just writing out and no one seeing it.
p.s. one more small moan. COMPUTER ARGHH. thankyou.
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